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The Blacktongue Thief (Blacktongue #1) by Christopher Buehlman

June 30, 2024 by Pippin Took, the shire hobbit Leave a Comment

Rating: 8.5/10

Synopsis

Kinch Na Shannack owes the Takers Guild a small fortune for his education as a thief, which includes (but is not limited to) lock-picking, knife-fighting, wall-scaling, fall-breaking, lie-weaving, trap-making, plus a few small magics. His debt has driven him to lie in wait by the old forest road, planning to rob the next traveler that crosses his path.

But today, Kinch Na Shannack has picked the wrong mark.

Galva is a knight, a survivor of the brutal goblin wars, and handmaiden of the goddess of death. She is searching for her queen, missing since a distant northern city fell to giants.

Unsuccessful in his robbery and lucky to escape with his life, Kinch now finds his fate entangled with Galva’s. Common enemies and uncommon dangers force thief and knight on an epic journey where goblins hunger for human flesh, krakens hunt in dark waters, and honor is a luxury few can afford.

Review

“I was so scared, I half wanted to piss myself, but the difference between the strong and the weak isn’t that the strong don’t piss themselves. It’s that they hitch their pissy pants up after and go through with it.”

This book charmed my socks off. Dripping with foul language, magic, magical creatures and lots of brutal action scenes- it was the perfect equivalent of a summer blockbuster for grimdark and fantasy aficionados.  It checks off every element one could want in such a flick including red whales, krakens, goblins, giants, assassins, giant war ravens, gods, one sarcastic MC + the other MC not getting it, witches, magical tattoos, guilds, taverns, romance, its own card game, and most importantly it has rhyming songs. We absolutely need to bring back songs in epic fantasies. 

Talking about songs, I love that the author narrates the audiobook himself and he does a wonderful job with the songs especially. Since he is the author, the intimacy with the material absolutely adds to the charm and dialogue. Even though we majorly just follow two characters, we meet so many characters from so many different nations and cultures along the way and the author captures each voice so well that he’s able to easily bring the book alive and immerse us into the tale within just 3-4 chapters. 

“Good!” she said. “You cough, you are weak testicles.” “Have,” Galva corrected. “Ai, os, you cough, you are half-testicles.” 

There are so many things that are done so well in this book that I don’t know what to focus on first. Starting with the map, I love how it is used in this book. It’s a great map with a lot of markings but the best thing is that every place mentioned in the story is marked on the map. Some of the other newer fantasy books I’ve read have similar expansive detailed maps with numerous markings but then they refer to a city or a village/region and it is nowhere to be found on the map. Also, despite the story predominantly taking place in the northern region of the world, I’m surprised how well the author has brought in the various kingdoms and cities from all over the world into the tale. 

The story actually is about a thief who cannot stop talking, a former badass soldier, and a blind cat traveling to a city recently skirmished by giants in search of an estranged queen. As with any good adventure, it is not a straightforward journey and they fall into a lot of tangents. The brilliance though is that all of these side missions add something that directly benefits the main objective but not in an overt fashion. 

“I could see Malk had no fear for man or whale, and he’d gotten through it with the goblins, but a kraken? You’ll no doubt think less of me for soiling myself, but until you see one from a small boat in the middle of the sea and keep your linens fresh, I suggest you reserve judgment.”

Also it doesn’t let up pace at any moment of the story. The chapters are all short (love that) and something is constantly happening in each chapter, one chapter they’re fighting a kraken in the sea, the next chapter they’re cleaning whale sperm off the deck of a ship and in the immediate next chapter, one of the MCs is fighting a duel to the death. Every chapter also ends with a hook making it extremely compelling as well. 

“Weapons!” Malk cried, but he had none. I drew my dagger, feeling I’d do just as well to wave my manhood at it, had that not already shrunk itself as far in my body as it could go. 

The author also is a former horror writer apparently and that can be seen in this book. While it is filled with sarcasm and wit that lend levity to an otherwise grim tale, the actions scenes are a whole another story. We get extremely up and close in the fighting and it does get extremely brutal at points. And people drop like flies, even the ones we consider major are not safe. There are other gory elements including fever dreams, abominable creations and even some body horror. The setting is also extremely visceral that one can smell the grime off the pages. 

“And there’s humanity in a glimpse- we’ve always got a copper for a stone idol, but none for the beggar in its shadow. “

My only actual complaint is that the last battle seems far less epic in scope compared to some of the previous high-octane action sequences. And it ends in a bit of ‘and we’re here’ fashion. I still like it and it actually can be read as a complete standalone by itself too but I’m very glad that there are two more books following suit. I also wish there were a bit more emotional moments and that it delved a bit deeper into Galva’s characterization but I think that has been granted in the form of an entire prequel novel in The Daughter’s War. Overall, I really enjoyed this book a lot and can’t wait to get to The Daughter’s War. Fans of Joe Abercrombie, Scott Lynch, D&D will feast on this one.

Filed Under: Grimdark, Reviews Tagged With: Book Review, Epic Fantasy, Fantasy

About Pippin Took, the shire hobbit

Ganesh SA (a.k.a Pippin Took in most social media platforms) is a 5G Engineer in Seattle. If you’re in the PNW and your mobile data doesn’t work properly, there’s a fair to certain chance it’s his fault. Either he was thinking about a second breakfast or sneak reading fantasy books in the office. Outside of work you can find him at a Seattle public library or at Lumen Field if OL Reign are playing. Gateway to fantasy was Cornelia Funke and Christopher Paolini and because of that, he hasn’t mastered the art of entering and leaving a bookstore without buying a book with a dragon on the cover. Full time FIFA/Tea addict.

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