Synopsis:
Hi, I’m Caiden, I look nineteen, but I’m actually a two-hundred-year-old vampire… and I’ve just been kicked out of a plane and dropped into a walled-off prison city for the world’s fantasy creatures. Welcome to Vampire City! A sprawling metropolis of segregated boroughs, desperate poverty and tyrannical vampire overlords who feed upon their lowly subjects to lay claim to them.
In my time here, I’ll work with a courageous leader of rag-tag elves, an ambitious warrior vampire looking to climb the heirarchy, street-wise goblins only after a quick buck, a hapless halfling who has found themselves up a certain creek without a certain paddle, and finally a young and headstrong vampire girl called Alma, who doesn’t feel like a vampire, and who incredibly can’t be fed upon by those tyrannical vampire overlords I mentioned earlier.
She might just be the key to changing this modern, run-down, unjust and cruel metropolis into a better place for everyone. Or she might not. Depends on what I do next, I suppose.
Review:
Vampire Metropolis is an urban fantasy with a ton of humor and even more heart (which is kinda surprising since vampire’s don’t really have hearts). There’s something very human in this tale, something we all strive for: finding one’s place, even if it’s in the worst place possible.
In a page ripped exclusively out of Escape from New York, humanity has finally created a way to get rid of all those pesky magical creatures that have been hiding among us. Elves, faeries, orcs, goblins, banshees, and of course vampires have all been rounded up by humans and shoved into a sprawling city, lovingly referred to as Vampire City, and kept under lock and key. Our protagonist, vampy Caiden, is tossed in the city and it isn’t until a newly made vamper, Alma, is thrown in, does Caiden realize his worth and find his place amongst his brethren. A strange coming of age tale almost, even though Caiden is over two hundred years old.
Told exclusively via Caiden’s POV, we get to experience life in Vampire City, as well as dig through his very depressing sense of self. The dude has some serious baggage. Caiden is a loner, doesn’t like to follow the rules set by the vampire lords, and he really doesn’t like to be around anyone or anything. He’s a very melancholy character and can be very whiny at times. But he does have an excellent narrative voice and is quite witty, so it’s easy to like him. Alma is the other main character and she’s such a good foil for Caiden, and the other vampires as well. She’s verrrrrry fresh as a vampire, so she doesn’t even want to admit it, even though she has fangs and cannot die (more on that below). Alma just wants to go home to her mom and the entirety of the plot revolves around her trying to change the way VC is run so she can try to get out. There’s a couple of other characters Caiden regularly interacts with who are also fun in their own way.
One neat bit of vampire lore that I’ve never seen before is that these bloodsuckers cannot die, ever. Once bitten, they exist FORRRRR-EVVVV-ERRRR. And believe me, Caiden tells us this and every other damn character quite often. Vampires can be decapitated, quartered, smashed to bloody pulp, lit on fire, hell, the humans throw vampires into VC from airplanes and they just go splat, and no matter what, vampires will always regenerate over time. A lot of the tension of this story revolves around this bit of lore.
If you couldn’t tell from the blurb, this story is laced with humor, and even though I don’t always veer toward these sorts of books, I thought almost all of the jokes landed. Caiden’s narrative voice was very strong and most of the humor comes from his perceptions, not just banter (but the banter was good too).
The prose is quite strong and the pace even. And while we did get a very deep dive into the politics of Vampire City with its vampire lords with their blood tithes and boroughs, I do think more description of the actual city and how the humans keep it controlled was needed. Because we do learn there are walls, but not really much else. My biggest gripe about the story is that this is told in Parts, not Chapters. Sure there are scene breaks often enough that act in a very similar manner to Chapters, but it felt odd at times. The biggest offender is a 5 year time jump right after Caiden gets into the swing of things. It was odd that it just sort of happened before we truly got to see more of VC, and even odder that it happened mid Part.
And I’d be remiss to not mention the climax and how it all played out. While I had no issue with how this story ended, I can see how some readers might question if the whole thing was even necessary. For me, this story was more about Caiden’s inner growth, not so much the physical plot.
If you are looking for a funny urban fantasy with vampires and other fae creatures, def give Vampire Metropolis a try! It’s a fun read with lots of uniqueness to it. Now if you would kindly piss off!
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