Welcome to your feed! Curated for you, by you, with only a little help from us. And no one else, I promise—except for those that have a monetary interest in your personal data.
Let’s begin.
Whipping up a batch of cat videos and dog clips. Got it—you’re a dog person. No more cats. Here are puppies piling onto each other. A dog pressing buttons to say words. A dog eating a piece of cheese.
You didn’t swipe past the cheese one. Maybe you’re a foodie. Here are some restaurant reviews. Chinese, Italian, Mexican… Pizza? Ding ding! Pizza lover detected.
Based on your location history, there’s a 95% chance you live in NYC. Here’s someone reviewing a slice in NYC. Here are ten videos from people we also think live in NYC. Here’s an ad for tours at the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, Wall Street.
You requested not to see more about Wall Street, huh? You must be in a low financial bracket. Serving up ads for Dollar Tree, Five Below, and Walmart. More Walmart. More Walmart. One more try for Walmart—they pay us a lot of money.
Okay, no Walmart.
You must be an Amazon person. Checking your Amazon purchase history… Socks. Headphones. Books. Oh, books! We’ve got a reader.
Here are ten videos from BookTokers, famous writers, aspiring authors. Maybe you’re one yourself. Here’s sponsored content for writing software, creative storytelling courses, low-fi beat focus playlists. Ooo! You listened to one of the playlists. Is that book-related? Here are a
hundred more videos from BookTokers.
Okay. Not book-related. Pulling back.
You purchased headphones and listened to a playlist—you’re a music person. Here are a dozen videos from aspiring artists. You liked six—only the ones with a female vocalist. You might be attracted to females. You’re most likely a male.
Flooding your feed with more women. More boobs. More butts. Bigger boobs. Bigger butts. We see you’re afraid to like or comment on the post, but you’re watching them all the way through. Multiple times. Understood. We’ll be discreet, but we’ll keep them coming.
Many low-income males interested in pizza also engage with fitness content. Here are videos from trending exercise enthusiasts. An ad for protein powder. A promotional deal from your local gym conglomerate.
This motivational content creator is popular among gym rats. Hustling to give you more posts about hustle culture.
You swiped before the typical watch-time threshold of 3.1 seconds. Switching gears to something more soothing. Reruns of a sitcom that aired during your presumed adolescence are now available on your most-used streaming platform. A game show? Maybe a baking competition?
Better.
In your demographic, the combination of fitness content with easy-watching often signals elevated stress levels. But stressed about what…? Here’s a clip about climate change. About rising wealth inequality. About one of the wars overseas. About a different one. Here’s a clip from a political debate. And another.
You scrolled past that one pretty quick, and most commenters are people we think have a 70% chance of being in one specific political party. So here are five political videos that lean the other direction.
Let’s throw in a flat-Earth video while we’re here. Wow, you watched that all the way through four times. It’s possible you set your phone down to wipe or wash your hands, but we’re going to assume interest. Incoming shower of conspiracy theory videos.
You skipped some quickly at first, but your watch time is increasing. Let’s see if that pattern is sustainable.
You liked a comment on one of those videos. Great. We’ve already statistically concluded that the commenter is older than fifty, heavily partisan, and subscribes to firearms content. Let’s see if you like those too.
You engage more frequently when that content appears between conspiracy videos and boobs-and-butts posts. We’ll repeat that sequence to optimize reactions.
Here are memes shared by supporters of your preferred political party. Data shows people are more likely to engage with the more extreme ones, so here they are.
More boobs and butts. More memes.
You clicked a link for tactical gear. Sending that conversion data to the partnered vendor.
More fringe content. More boobs and butts.
Your location data shows you’re currently in an area shared by many users with drastically different digital profiles. Cross-referencing with local events… It appears there is a rally or protest nearby. Posts from this location are trending. Engagement is high.
Your screen time has decreased by 100% from the previous week. Message received.
Let’s start over. Recalibrating…
Here are some cute videos of puppies and kittens.
JAKE KORELL is the author of The Second World, a satirical speculative fiction novel. His humor is shaped by a serious, deeply held conviction that life shouldn’t be taken too seriously—or held with such deep conviction. He lives in Los Angeles with his partner, McCauley, and their dog, Dewey, and never misses a Martini Monday
Founding fathers. Fathers. Daddy issues.
Welcome to Mars.
Mars has declared its independence from Earth. But building a country takes more than a new flag, an arena-worthy anthem, and naming Pluto the donkey the national animal. As the Red Planet spirals into political upheaval, Flip Buchanan—the irreverent, reluctant son of the most powerful man on Mars—stumbles through two tumultuous decades of alien discoveries, killer clones, and the chaos of a new nation still working out the kinks.
Always second-best in a family obsessed with being first, Flip must grapple with the absurdity of Martian society and the gravity of legacy to step out of his father’s shadow and define self-worth on his own terms—a feat that can feel as impossible as climbing Olympus Mons.
For fans of Andy Weir and Kurt Vonnegut, this satirical coming-of-age space epic blends sharp wit, surprising emotional depth, and bold worldbuilding. Equal parts hilarious and heartfelt, The Second World navigates found family, generational divides, and the outrageous struggle to make your finite life matter in an infinite universe—with poignant reflections on power, sensationalized media, and fractured culture.
Preorder: https://amzn.to/4ppuZ7a
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